AJG Consulting

A recent email discussion got me thinking about the terms “feminine” and “masculine.” Specifically, I wondered what these descriptors mean when it comes to roles and functions in society. And more specifically, can we with 100% accuracy apply these descriptors to each male and female person we encounter; meaning, do all females exhibit 100% feminine traits and do all males exhibit 100% masculine traits. Finally, can we even construct unchangeable, always applicable descriptors of feminine and masculine?

Of course, being an old English major I checked the dictionary first.

Feminine –adjective
1. pertaining to a woman or girl: feminine beauty; feminine dress.
2. having qualities traditionally ascribed to women, as sensitivity or gentleness.
3. effeminate; womanish: a man with a feminine walk.

“feminine.” Dictionary.com Unabridged. Random House, Inc. 01 Mar. 2010. <Dictionary.com http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/feminine>.

Masculine –adjective
1. pertaining to or characteristic of a man or men: masculine attire.
2. having qualities traditionally ascribed to men, as strength and boldness.
3. (of a woman) mannish.

“masculine.” Dictionary.com Unabridged. Random House, Inc. 01 Mar. 2010. <Dictionary.com http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/masculine>.

[note: I disregarded the definitions pertaining to grammar]

The first definition for both terms relates to the outward appearance that one might expect to see when looking at a male or female person. These ideas of dress, hairstyle, looks, etc., are culturally determined. What passes for feminine beauty in the U.S. may be vastly different from what passes for feminine beauty among the members of an indigenous tribe in Brazil. The same, naturally, goes for which physical looks and dress are considered masculine.

The second definition for each term deals with personality traits that a culture ascribes to male and female persons. The examples given are traditional, stereotypical feminine and masculine traits. These traits stem from a combination of biology and culture. Females have more estrogen and are the child bearers; they tend to be more nurturing. Males have more testosterone; they tend to be more aggressive.

The third definition deals with what would be considered a derogatory use of the descriptors. A mannish female in many cultures is looked down upon. The same goes for an effeminate male.

Given these basic dictionary definitions, does it follow that all females are 100% feminine and all males are 100% masculine? Can we assign jobs, roles, and functions in society purely on gender, expecting that each male and female will exhibit the masculine/feminine traits we associate with each gender? If a person doesn’t fit the feminine/masculine stereotypes do we then denigrate the person, lowering their status in society for being too feminine or too masculine?

Stereotyping persons based on gender descriptors of feminine and masculine rarely works. Danica Patrick has a feminine body and beauty that she deftly exploits in her marketing efforts. However, she really does not fit the feminine stereotype since she is a race car driver. That highly aggressive and competitive sport fits better with our masculine descriptors.

What about Gandhi – a male person who changed his society through non-violence? His tactics don’t fit the masculine stereotype of physical strength or aggression. He lived simply, ate simply, fasted often, and refused to resort to any type of aggression to reach his goals. His life looks more like the descriptors for a mild-mannered femininity than a bold masculinity.

Even more than this type of high-profile person who defies conformation to feminine and masculine descriptors, I think of the people I encounter on a daily basis. Is every female I encounter 100% feminine and is every male I encounter 100% masculine. The answer is absolutely no.

If a female never has children, whether by choice, through not finding a suitable mate, or by infertility, does this make her “mannish?” Is she less female for lack of nurturing children? If a female is strong and athletic is she an affront to her sex? Is she to be ridiculed? What of the females who excel in math, science, engineering, and other fields which require analytical skills typically linked with masculine traits?

Are males who like to work with children and become grade school teachers effeminate? Should they be classed as aberrations of the male sex? What about the male who is neither strong or athletic? Is he girlish and rightly subjected to society’s ridicule? Are males who discover they are infertile and cannot father children lesser males?

The problem with stereotypes is that they don’t apply to all people, all the time. Stereotypes by definition are over-simplified generalities. Each person, whether male or female, will exhibit a wide range of traits. Culture, as mentioned earlier, will determine many choices in dress and behavior. Beyond culture, appearance, aptitudes and preferences will vary greatly.

Some females will have a curvy female figure; others will be slender with few curves; others will be square and stocky; some will even have broad shoulders and narrow hips, much like a male. Some females will enjoy the stereotypical female activities; others may not care a thing about cooking and prefer to fly airplanes.

Some males will be built like an NFL linebacker; some will be slender; some will be short; some will have broad shoulders and narrow hips; others will have narrow shoulders and a big butt. Some males will play sports; some will be shy bookworms who become great writers.

Any person or institution that attempts to determine the societal contributions of any person, male or female, based on gender stereotypes of what is masculine and what is feminine, does a disservice to both the individual and to society. No person can be described as 100% feminine or 100% masculine because no person is a stereotype. Reflecting back on our definitions, females are often strong and bold and males are often sensitive and gentle.

Which leads me to conclude that we cannot construct unchangeable, always applicable descriptors of feminine and masculine. Cultures change and the stereotypes change. Economies expand and new technologies develop; consequently, the roles played by males and females change with them. Scientific discoveries open our eyes to never-before-known facts about the world; and these new discoveries shape our beliefs about what it means to be male and female. Perhaps it’s time to forget about classifying people by gender and instead allow them to develop whatever talents God has blessed them with – even it if means they defy the descriptors of feminine and masculine.

One of my favorite poets died earlier this month. I often have my students read Lucille Clifton’s poems when we’re learning about using descriptive language in writing. Her poems are deceptively simple, usually lacking both punctuation and capitalization. Yet the simplicity of her poetry only adds to the punch of the ideas.

Clifton’s poetry is often woman-centric and carries within it the struggles of being both female and African-American. Her poems can be defiant, challenging, and funny. Here is one of my favorites, simply called “homage to my hips:”

these hips are big hips

they need space to

move around in.

they don’t fit into little

petty places. these hips

are free hips.

they don’t like to be held back.

these hips have never been enslaved,

they go where they want to go

they do what they want to do.

these hips are mighty hips.

these hips are magic hips.

i have known them

to put a spell on a man and

spin him like a top!

Lucille Clifton may have passed from this world, but her work will stay with us, growing on us, reminding us of what it means to be human.

I fire up the computer today and discover that in some segments of the blogosphere it is “Seth Godin Day.” If you don’t know who he is, great! You can quit reading. If you do know that Mr. Godin is a blogger, author, marketer, and popular web guru, and you really like what he has to say, you too might want to quit reading.

I’ve read some of his books. I find him less than entertaining, mildly arrogant, and a superb self-promoter. His shtick is to help people make the most of their businesses and their lives in this new online world. Some of what he espouses is great business and marketing advice. Some of it is just so much rah-rah, new age-y, mumbo jumbo (e.g. “How dare you settle for less when the world has made it so easy for your to be remarkable?” gaia.com).

When I looked around at this so-called Seth Godin Day, the first thing that popped into my mind was the term Cult of Personality. I looked it up:

cult of personality –noun– a cult promoting adulation of a living national leader or public figure
dictionary.com

I think it fits. People got up in the wee hours of the morning to participate in Seth Godin Day. People blog about him, his books, and his websites with gushing praise. They are enamored of his personality.

Personally, I would not get up at the crack of dawn to hear what any human being had to say (OK, I would answer a call from my Mom, but that’s it). I get up in the morning and show my adoration and respect for One only – the One – God Almighty – Maker of Heaven and Earth – the Alpha and Omega. Mr. Godin simply cannot compete for my already pledged allegiance.

I’m glad I missed Seth Godin Day. Instead, I spent some time reflecting on Saints Timothy and Titus. I read some John Howard Yoder. I corresponded with some other Christians. I tweeted and blogged about my faith. It was God Day here. And it will be God Day again tomorrow and every day thereafter.

Or maybe the term is “twitterer” or “tweeter.” In any event, I jumped into the Twitter fray. I really don’t see the appeal, but I do see the potential.

I notice some folks who seem to “tweet” every few minutes. One guy who has an interesting blog tweeted so often that I had to quit following him within a short time. I never saw anyone else’s tweets, just his.

For me, I’m exploring Twitter as an extension of my ministry. The plan is to tweet a scripture in the morning and a prayer in the evening. I’ll also tweet any new posts to the devotional blog. That seems reasonable (and doable) to me.

If you are on Twitter, you are welcome to follow me and I’ll follow you back (unless, of course, you tweet 100 times an hour, in which case I’ll have to pass on the follow).

Eccentric
noun – a person who has an unusual, peculiar, or odd personality, set of beliefs, or behavior pattern.
adjective – deviating from the recognized or customary character, practice, etc.; irregular; erratic; peculiar; odd
“eccentric.” Dictionary.com Unabridged. Random House, Inc. 13 Jan. 2010.

1. Develop hobbies and interests that most people do not embrace. For example, you have succeeded if someone asks, “Why do you keep pigeons?”
2. Take an “alternative” approach to personal care. For example, cut your own hair and make your own clothes; wash yourself, your clothes, and your pets with natural soaps purchased through a co-op.
3. Hold a job outside the usual world of work. For example, writer, artist, musician, professor, inventor, and scientist are always good choices; but any job that does not require you to wear “office attire” will do. Consider barber (if you like people) or dog groomer (if your prefer animals).
4. Read widely. Watch TV and movies sparingly. Normal folks are plugged into popular culture. Eccentrics are plugged into a culture of ideas of their own making. For example, you have succeeded if you can quote Jacques Ellul and your listener doesn’t know who you’re talking about.
5. Ignore the status quo and all those appointed to maintain the status quo. Note: this does not mean challenge the status quo. Challenge implies that you want to change it. Ignore implies that, for you, it holds no value or purpose. For example, the status quo buys Dove, Tide, and pet shampoo. You don’t – see #2.
6. Personalize all living quarters. Avoid suburban homes, white walls, new furniture, and wall-to-wall carpet. The ideas in your head should be expressed on your walls, in your artwork, and through your furnishings. For example, decorate rooms with vibrant colors or motifs and name them “the green room,” “the sunflower room,” etc.
7. Shop local. Shop used. Shop dent & ding aisles. For example, buy four unmatched chairs and paint or reupholster to match the sunflower room – see #6.
8. Measure success appropriately. If you measure success in dollars and cents, you’re not an eccentric: you’re a capitalist pretending to be eccentric. Instead, measure success by the books read, ideas explored, projects attempted, and hobbies engaged in. For example, if your guests say, “Wow, I can’t believe you made that,” you have succeeded.

My favorite line is when he says says we’ve been “royally defecated” on by our government!

I had never experienced a white Christmas until this year. An unusual, record-breaking snow storm hit Oklahoma on Christmas Eve and dropped 14 inches of snow in about 12 hours time. It was beautiful for about the first 3 hours on Christmas Day; now it’s just a cold, wet mess. On the second day of Christmas there has been no sighting of turtle doves, only lots of snow and icy slush.

I hope that  when I’m 90 years old I can say, “I remember the ONE white Christmas I witnessed in Oklahoma.”

The light of the Christmas star to you
The warmth of home and hearth to you
The cheer and good will of friends to you
The hope of a childlike heart to you
The joy of a thousand angels to you
The love of the Son and God’s peace to you.

Let all creation rejoice!